WHITNEY HOUSTON 1963-2012

better :)

Alhamdulillah ,

This morning I woke up feeling sooooooooo GOOD..

I embraced the feeling and BLESSED

 I did that stress-free yawn and stretch to the background music of a crackling back and popping toes

Hrmmmmmmm,

I felt like I’d reached towards the sky and turned on the sunlight and walked the moon home

My smile gleamed so BRIGHTLY

PEACE whispered in my ear and told my MIND, BODY and SOUL that

GOOD DAY was on his way over to spend some quality time with me

I was overjoyed and the timing was perfect

Being that WORRY finally took his ass home yesterday

I told his stressful self not to call on me but wait to be called

I arose and bathed in the wellspring of LIFE

And dried my body with the clouds

New dress, new purse and shoes to adorn my form

No make-up and natural locks coupled with freshly manicured fingers and toes to enhance external beauty

I read the "good book" to nourish my inner

All mirrors bowed at my presence for having the distinct honour of displaying my reflection

For today, BEAUTY is my name

And I lovingly accept

Now, I feel even better!

Confidence exudes in my walk

GOOD DAY has officially arrived and entered my realm

using the key I gave him long ago

When he visits I feel so blessed

Blessed with favour,

The experience doesn't go unnoticed

I welcomed him in along with our friends, HAPPINESS and LOVE

They said they just had to see me

I embraced them

GOOD DAY gave me a hug that made me feel peaceful, yet powerful

I was so happy to see him because his last visit was many moons ago

I’d been hanging out with INSECURITY, DEPRESSION, STRESS and NEGATIVITY

They aren't his type of crowd

I love his presence in my life because he always brings with him good company

Like FOUND MONEY, NO GUN SHOTS and PROGRESS

TEMPTATION called while we were enjoying each other trying to make me choose

But WISDOM sent a text message shortly after suggesting that I let it go unanswered

It was a bit challenging but I did it thanks to my girl SELF-ESTEEM

I just hope he doesn't show up at my front door...

feel better :) 

..all about you..

She thinks about you nonstop and you’re all she talks about. When she talks to you she always has that goofy smile and she truly looks happy. With one hug, you make her melt and you always leave her with butterflies. But at the same time, when she’s upset it’s usually because of you, but she refuse to see any bad in you.  And no matter how many people try and tell her different, she believes you’re perfect for her and worth every second of the wait. But she’s too scared to tell you any of this because she doesn't want to screw anything up and doesn't want to end up hurt. I realize that and know that , We both are having the same situation sometime because we both love the same guy. 

TQ MISS LINDA :)

WOW .. I HAVE LEARN A LOT OF NEW THINGS TODAY.. 

" NO MORE LIMITING BELIEF! "

TQ MISS LINDA :) 

should i???

Arghh .. its hurt.. Should i give up or should i stay strong?  Sometimes, my heart knows things that my mind can’t explain.! I don't what should i do. Maybe i should give up! But sometime when i look in the mirror, i see a girl who's been through so much and yet , still finds a way to smile  at the past. She still loves with all her heart, or what's left of it and when you see her walking in the hallway, i can guarantee you she'll have her head up high. for all those people who try to break her, you never will. I need you in my life because knowing you'll ne there tomorrow gives me strength to make it through today. The way i felt about you couldn't be compared to anything else. No words could have explained. No emotion ever felt like enough and i hope you know that. I trust you. I will wait for you because i believe that if you truly love me, you will never stop , no matter what and as much as you deny the love you feel for me, if you ever loved me, you always will. I love you and probably always will.And i'm still here waiting to catch you if you fall. 

Sometime , I know in the back of my mind that life would be so much easier if i never talked to you again. If i shut you out of my life and moved on, i could finally get over you, but you're the only thing that make me happy. Whether it's right or wrong, and just don't have the strength to give up on that.

Email from someone :)

Email from someone  :)

Yana, No one has the right to tell u who u r n control ur life, cause it's urs. ur life is meant to b lives by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get d bes of us, destroy us n change our opinions on what we believe is true. BUt! Only u know what is right for yourself, u have the power, u make the choices and learn. Each experience we go through in life is a lesson to be learned la yana. We all make mistakes right but still why is it so hard for some to understand it right? But remember , no one should be judged by the mistakes we have made. Its past news. Remember that u said to me ,Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It's only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with n deal with before we eventually break. Yana ........................................................

Daer bff, 

Thank you for ur email..

Alhamdulillah :)

The next word is comes out from my mouth is 

"Alhamdulillah" 

because Allah gift and bless always be with me all the times 

because i know when we love Allah no matter what that's why

 I still can face this world even without any strength to face them, 

but Allah will give me that strength to do it.

Jealousy??

Jealousy?? Hurmm.. What is the cure for jealousy? The familiar ugly feeling, unpleasant reaction when someone gets and be with what you always wanted. You know it’s wrong to feel that way, but how can you control what you feel?

You can control your actions. You can control your behavior. You can control your words. To some extent you can control your thoughts. But how can you control your feelings?

I don’t express my jealousy in anyway. I don’t react or take decisions or make plans based on jealousy. So in a way I have conquered jealousy. But I feel my victory is incomplete. I don’t even want the feeling of jealousy to exist in my heart. I don’t ever want to feel jealous.

Is it even humanly possible to conquer jealousy completely?

happy rainy day :)

It was a beautiful rainy day, a cozy day that reminds me of a distant past. It makes me stay longer in bed dreaming. It makes me write poetry and read a book by fire. All I wanted to do was sip tea and look at the rain forever. It was cool. I felt I was looking at the world through sun glasses even though I was wearing none. Rain was refreshing. 

A MUSLIM MAN'S LOVE LETTER

If you love me, don’t confess your love to me through haraam (forbidden) ways,

This won’t please me and will instead drive me away!

Love games don’t attract me.

If you love me, have sabar (patience) and I will knock on your door when the time is right.

Don’t give me privileges which I don’t deserve.

Keep me away from you, and I will approach you.

If you approach me, I will stay away from you.

Don’t love me, for I want you ignorant in love.

I want to teach you love when the right time comes and when you will be mine,

Only when we are joined together under our Creator’s satisfaction

Don’t tell me what you feel, don’t give me from your time, don’t push me to lose you.

I am a man who does not want to see the one he loves committing sins or to live a forbidden love behind her family’s back.

I don’t want her to feel guilty and don’t want her heart to suffer.

Put me under limits that I won’t cross, kill me inside you so I won’t grow to kill you inside me.

Preserve what is beautiful inside you.

I want you innocent, chaste, pure.

I want you my love, but with Allah’s blessings and not shaytan’s whisperings.

And then, Only then, I will face everything and will be ready to go through difficulties to get you,

Don’t be easy because then, I may not value you.

Don’t love me now, so I won’t hate you!

My heart wants you and doesn’t want to lose you.

I don’t want you to be just a passing fancy for me,

I want you a wife, a lover, the mother of my children, I want you to be the one I will spend my whole life with.

How could I be a faithful man to you when I try to break your chastity?

How would I be faithful to you if I push you to betray your family?

How could I trust a love which grew under Allah’s wrath ?

To make you mine through niqah (marriage) is Islam’s way,

Till then wait patiently and do not dismay.

To love you means to protect you,

To Love you is to bring you closer to Allah and His deen (religion)

To preserve you not to kill what is beautiful inside you.

-Your Husband-to-be (Insha’Allah!)

* dear my husband to be, i wish i could receive your love letter for me just like dis.. oowhh.. touching nye :( 

(:

Finally , Yesterday, I've made decision and I know it could be the worst decision I made, but I have to and I believe with help from Allah I will survive and through this situation at all for good. InsyaAllah (:

stay strong

I can dream anything, but it is perseverance and desire that attains goals.

I am willing to go the distance emotionally, spiritually and physically to become not good, but great.

It is easy to wake up and go through the motions of the day unenthusiastic .

It is difficult to wake up and decide today i will be different because everything is different now

Different from yesterday and maybe will be better for tomorrow

I will push the limits of my mind and my body to achieve strength that i never had before

I will try to believe to my self to make change and accept the changes in my life

I will not succumb to others doubts or to my own

I will make my daily goals and not only to reach them but i will exceed them

I will not be weak for all this things

I will embrace challenge, welcome obstacles.

I will be all i have dreamed.

I will stay strong!! InsyaAllah :)

BE PRETTY PLS :)

I know i won't be able to handle it

I know I won't be able to confront it..

I might be impulsive.. but heck..

what if my presumption is right???

I hope my prediction isn't right for this time

or if I'm right juts don't let me find out that I'm right..

just don't . Be pretty please

I just don't know why these suddenly come to my mind

sometime i really don't understand myself. What am i thinking actually??

Ya Allah , pls help me to be strong. InsyaAllah .. 

there'll be scar ♥

I sensed something went wrong but i couldn't figure out what it is.

and i also predicted something will happen and i don't want it to be happen

I don't know where wills this lead to,

but i just don't want to screwed up everything and the same thing happen again.