hurt =(

Have you ever felt as though your heart have just been ripped apart?
i have
it doesn't feel good
not at all

It’s hurt..!

Over and over I tried to be strong

Over and over I smile but inside I’m dying

Over and over I tried to accept it

Over and over I act like nothing happened

Waiting is painful!
the worst is, when that happened you can't even cry
too numb
eyes too dry
it's as though even if we shout with all our might no one will hear us
so do we expect people to listen?
It’s as though no matter what happens
even if people pass us by
they will not notice
they will not even spare a second glance at you

They did not understand you
too cruel for tears
so please save me from tears

I’m tired to get sad

I’m sick of crying

I’m sick of hoping

I’m sick of waiting

sleepy =(

Sleepy! =( 

I noticed I’m feeling more and 

more sleepy every day. 

And also there are some days

 when I would feel depressed and irritable, 

while there are also days where 

I would feel perfectly okay. 

Sometimes, I would feel bloated or fat, 

and some days I would feel my body aching. 

Blame it on hormones I guess. hhuurrmm.. 

distance

i want you to know that, Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean I don’t think about you. but I’m just trying to distance myself because I know I can’t have you.

and it will hurt me a lot

think and think

There are 'something' in my mind..

and in my heart...

that I do not know what it is

and i want to let it out..

but i just did not know what is 'something' really is..

have you ever felt it?

-i keep thinking about-

Friendship

love

ambition

dream

future

farewell

separation

money

married

weight

and i don't know why did i keep thinking about it..

flowers :)

Do you guys like flowers?

How many of you guys ever stop to smell the flowers? 

I went to this really beautiful flower shop today with my sis, 

and I was amazed with all the colorful flowers.

its very nice..

It was just so pleasing to the eyes, 

and when we came nearer,

our nostrils were filled with the most aromatic smell.

It’s pure happiness. 

I will appreciate if someone 

gift me a flower even its is the simple one J

jealous !

I may look happy all the time to most people .

But no one actually knows how I really feel in the inside .

Actually sometime I get jealous with my little bro

Because everybody proud of him

But I think no one proud of me.. =(

and that will make me down n feel give up 

I started to write blog because every time when I'm sad or happy,

it's either I can't find anyone to talk about it or nothing comes out of my lips .

I don't know how to describe how I feel so I decided to write them out in words . 

Somehow it makes me feel better in the inside . 

Whenever anything happens , 

I always tell myself everything will be okay in the end . 

Cause everything happens for a reason . 

I believe everyone has to place to go or things to do when they are sad and down to make them feel better . 

Since I can't go anywhere for now , 

this blog is the only way for me to ease my pain . 

The only thing in my life that listens to whatever I want to say .
At least for now .

to my self :   

it's not gonna be easy to live

 in the earth as a human being..

yes, it's really hard to live, 

but...

don't ever give up..

because.....

the world is actually a very 

beautiful place to live in..

you just don't know about it yet... ;)

just be strong

allah s.w.t will always with  you!

11111

its 1/11/11

11.11 pm ..

dedicate to someone :)

Dedicate to: someone :)

if after this we will not be together, it will be hurt.. a lot.. but I will never forget you. i will not regret knowing you and loving you because you are the one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I will look back and I’ll always be thankful that you came into my world. I feel so BLESSED that I was given the chance to love you. You came and brought so much meaning into my life… you brought love and care, and so many wonderful things and for that I will forever be grateful. You came and taught me how to love and you showed me what it’s like to be loved in return.

I met and loved someone like you. You changed my life in the most beautiful way… you gave me one of the happiest, most unforgettable experiences a girl could ever have. I will NEVER be sorry that I fell in love with you. Being sorry for what happened between us would be like denying what I felt about you. And I can’t do that. You brought so much happiness into my life.

I know I’m not perfect, and I’ve made my own share of mistakes. I’ve done things I’m not very proud of… and for that, I’m sorry. But if there’s one thing that I’m proud of, it’s the fact that I loved you unconditionally.

Thank you for everything. For all the love we shared and all the priceless moments. and hope that you will love me as what i am with all your heart 

Lot of love,

yana

1/11/11

thank you

u make me happy =)

FIRST LOVE

Once in a while

You're in my mind

I think about the days that we had

And I dream if this would all come back to me

If only you knew every moment in time

Loving goes on in my heart, just like your memories

How I long here to be with your once more

You'll always gonna be the one

And you should know how I wish I could have never let

you go

Come into my life again, oh don't say no

You'll always gonna be the one

In my heart, so true, I believe I can never find

Somebody like you, my first love

Once in a while

You're in my dreams

I can feel the warmth of your embrace

And I pray that one day you'll come back to me

If only you knew every moment in time

Loving goes on in my heart, just like your memories

How I long here to be with your once more

You'll always be inside my heart

And you should know how I wish I could have never let

you go

Come into my life again, oh don't say no

Now and forever you're still the one

In my heart, so true, I believe I can never find

Somebody like you, my first love

You'll always gonna be the one

And you should know how I wish I could have never let

you go

Come into my life again, oh don't say no

You'll always gonna be the one

So true, I believe I can never find...

Now and forever, you are...

its November =)

today is

1/11/11

i'm waiting for 

1.11pm

11.11pm

hope today i could have my happy day =)

that i can remember it 4eva..

why i love u ??

Ever had this warm fuzzy feeling that you don't know how to describe?

But somehow , it makes you feel good in the inside ?

Someone have ask me about ..

" why u love me? "

but i do not think i have the right answer for that question

The best part of falling in love is not when you're in a relationship.

It's the part where both sides know that they themselves are falling for each other.

But they don’t want to be a part of in relationship.

Because they think that the relationship comes after they close each other

and the relationship come without they plan

All they ever do was , 

talk .

hang out .

laugh .

share stories, problem

and things that they like

And it's about what they do that makes you have that warm fuzzy feeling in the inside .

It's what we called it " LOVE " .

There are things that I really want to share out .

But somehow, its hard to describe .

I can't tell you what it really is .

I can only tell you what it feels like .

It felt warm and sweet .

“Never ask why I love you, 

just accept that I do, 

and that I will for the rest of my life.”